Calling all poets! I receive dozens of poems from women each month and just a few from men. Anyone who reads my blog at The Last Straw knows that poetry can heal a broken heart.
I encourage women and men, to share their poetry on recovery and surviving domestic violence. We feel so alone when we are in the abuse, during the aftermath my goal is to help others feel connected and far from alone. Your poem may be posted on someone’s desk someday and that poem may be the only thing that gets them through the day.
For the men out there, please help me, to help others understand, that domestic violence happens to men and hurts them just the same. I can not share your thoughts and feelings, I can only agree that it happens and you are of no lesser value in this horror because you are a man. If anything, your recovery and pain is more silent so please share.
No matter what sex or color or marital status you are a punch hurts just the same. I have created this blog to share only poetry and how it helps us all in the healing process. Please help me create a blog that allows others to heal and realize that they are not alone. Your poetry will do just that.
By leaving a poem here you are stating that you are the author and I have permission to post it elsewhere and to use it in several upcoming books. Poetry has helped me heal from horrific violence and pain and I know that it can help you too. By sharing your poetry you are indeed helping someone else who feels all alone to feel connected and heard.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
email: the-laststraw@rebeccaburns.com
Poetry left in this post will later be placed in the proper category for others to find it quickly. Please only share poetry that you have written out of respect for the authors. By sharing your poetry here you are giving me permission to share your poem on other blogs and to use it in upcoming writing projects, books and others items. If you post your name you will be given full credit.
Is this site still active?
It had not been for sometime but it is active, thank you. Rebecca
Shattered
Broken teeth
and shattered dreams
was all we
would ever be
You didn’t even
have to lift a finger
you gave me the
hammer
and without
a single hesitation
I gladly smashed
myself to pieces
in your place
even once
all traces of you vanish
here i remain
still breaking
myself apart
always eager to
s
h
a
t
t
e
r
every shard is a memory of you
Years of Love shared together.
We both promised itd last forever.
Laughter, tears, countless nights of sharing our dreams and fears.
Nobody understood the pain I’d inflicted on your heart , we thought once I got saved and clean that we’d have a fresh start. Time and time again you’d hurt me and blame it on the past.
Now, looking back, I Can See Clearly that we’d never last.
Oh to be young and so naive, I gave you my all yet you continued to deceive.
I threatened, I’d scream and I would cry.
I’d always try to leave but could never truly say goodbye.
My love once so deep and raw, but now… It’s gone
. Too many mistakes on both our ends.
We’ve both tried to forgive and make amends.
The trust and respect an old abandoned friend.
Every once in awhile I miss us, but truly… This Is the End.
I don’t feel hate, and I wish you the best.
Do I have much hope for you? No, not much at all. I’ll hate to watch you fall.
But You have free will and only time will tell…I sure hope you don’t put these kids through any more hell.
May you move on to a “pure” bride, I’d be happy for you, it’d be good for your pride.
I’m always here to be a friend but I can’t fake it anymore, I don’t want to pretend.
My heart no longer belongs to you, my love has come to an end.
It’s not my fault what you decide to do. I choose to surrender to the Lord what happens to you.
May you be blessed and achieve all your dreams.
I know there’s potential in you, but I put this marriage to rest.
Maybe someday I’ll look back and have regret, but as of now, I just want to forget.
I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve put you through.
I’ve been scared to let go, but really… I’m so over you!
The thought of your touch brings me nothing but disgust.
The way I feel when I look into your eyes, I can tell that you’re totally full of lies.
Let’s just make peace and let it be.
Face it, my friend, YOU’RE over ME!
Thanks for the good times that we shared. There will always be a part of me that cares.
Friendship in our future, possibly…
But move on and find the other fish out there in the sea.
Goodbye lover, you are free. I no longer want to be your wife.
Let’s move on and both have a prosperous life. It’s best for all involved.
Sorry it took me so long to come out of the fog.
Good luck my friend and may your new story begin.
I cradle her
hold her space in my body
feel her pain in my heart
I carry your abortion
a partially developed child
terminated by her father
mangled by his sick love of her
she is so small and so heavy
I’m going septic
she poisons me
my arms ache to lay her down
to feel her weight lift from me
to free me
But she is mine and I am hers
The Dark
What happened in the dark made me jaded.
It has made touch poison,
my heart is tainted black, all innocence gone.
I am now afraid of the dark,
what once was my blanket of comfort is now my worst nightmare.
Sleep is danger, that’s when the monster strikes.
My words and actions are nothing,
he carries on through my tears.
Only pulling my hair and telling me to be quieter.
Once daylight appears, the monster crawls away,
back to its dark corner.
Waiting for the darkness to take over once again.
Hi I am a survivor of DV and so are my children I started writing poems of my experiences which has helped me deal with ptsd.
I have only shared my poems with family and now I want to see if I can help others.
Would I be able to send you some of my poems for feedback please
Life after Death
Death is… being stuck in traffic with a sick feeling growing in your stomach because you know your going to get your ass beat for being late.
Death is… telling everyone you broke your wrist slipping on the Ice.
Death is… being beaten with wet jeans.
Death is… eight black eyes in six months.
Death is… being told to say your prayers with the business end of a loaded shot gun to the back of your head.
Death is… being smothered by a pillow and playing dead because you’re afraid your child will wake up to your dead body.
Death is… being beaten with your own curling iron for leaving it on.
Death is… wearing the breakfast you just cooked.
Death is… knowing better than to buy an expensive phone because next time you try to call the cops on him you know he’s going to smash it.
Death is… sitting outside on the back porch with tears running down your face and breathing the night air into your lungs wondering if it will be the last time you ever will.
Life is… being stuck in traffic and laughing hysterically, to the point that the people in the next car over are staring at you.
Life is… going to the emergency room and telling the truth.
Life is… hanging out your wet jeans on the line with a smile on your face.
Life is… the only black on your eyes is eyeliner.
Life is… saying bedtime prayers with your children in your own house.
Life is… fluffing the pillows on your bed and knowing you are safe.
Life is… throwing your curling iron away.
Life is… breaking all the egg yolks just for fun.
Life is… saving up to buy the most expensive phone in the store.
Life is… sitting outside on the back porch and breathing the night air into your lungs with tears running down your face because you know you can do it again tomorrow if you want to.
FEAR AND BREATHLESS
Everytime.
Everytime.
Everytime.
Why me?
Why this?
How come?
I want to see past this all
But my breathe is taken away
Taken away in a mind game.
He constantly accuses you
But he aint shit to you
The pain he brings
Hurts just as bad as a bee sting
The words he say
Makes you drift far away
No one sees whats behind close doors
Every month he is calling you a whore
His insecurities shouldn’t mean shit to you
But some how they do
How can someone have such a black heart
Because he is so dark
He can never take it back
Because once again he will always attack
I wish this narcissitic behavior upon no one
Dealing with the mental health will make you run
I am sure he has done this to all females
Because this makes him feel more like a male
Domestic violence
Will have you living in silence
The Electric Fence
Trapped by the fence
That cannot be seen.
With every shock,
I lose a part of me.
They see me inside,
For I cannot hide.
I can only lie,
Only cry.
Because to them I am fine,
And with him they are blind,
For he looks very kind,
With the mask he designed.
I did not know
that he would put up the fence.
I did not know,
And now nothing makes sense.
There are no bars and no chains,
Yet, I cannot leave.
For I am trapped by the fence
That cannot be seen.
I am not a poet. Not even close. I don’t read poetry, I’ve never written but one other “poem” and it was just an 8 line memorial to my grandmother. I don’t particularly like poetry. This came to me about a year after I left my own personal cage. I’ll never forget it. I was getting in the shower and had hurry up and get out so I could get it down. I finished it within an hour with only a few slight tweaks over the next few days. I swear it was like someone else wrote it. I read it over and over but now have it completely memorized. I was actually very impressed with myself. In reality, it could be truly awful, I don’t know poetry well enough to really judge it. I think it’s good. I think it could help. Or at the very least let another pretty little bird she/or he isn’t alone. There are other birds stuck in their own cages. Help them to see it’s up to them why their cage ends up empty.
P.s. that is my absolute favorite part, the open ending where the reader comes to their own conclusion of what happened to the pretty little bird. I know if I had not left when I did, my cage would have been empty soon anyway but I never would have gotten the chance to fly away. Thanks you. I hope this helps someone.
Pretty Little Bird
Hi there pretty little bird, in your cage
Sitting all alone
Why don’t you come and fly with me
While your masters gone?
The cage door is open, you can leave
So why is it you stay?
Come on out, spread your wings
So, what do you say?
The little bird replied no softly
But thanks for your concern
I really should just sit right here
And wait for his return
You see I’m happy here,In my home
It’s safe and and warm and dry
What would a silly bird Like me
Do up in the sky?
See I’m not too fast, I fly real slow
And I’m really not that bright
My tails too long, My wings too short
I never can fly right
So I’m safe right here, In my cage
Just sitting all alone
Now You should go, It won’t be long
Before my masters home
Suit yourself,You silly bird
And away they always flew
The sorrow the bird felt or her tears
Of those they never knew
They only saw a silly bird, In her cage
Sitting all alone
They never saw the secret chains
That kept her in her home
They never knew of how she longed
To fly so far away
After all she was to blame, It was her fault
Because she chose to stay
So they left the pretty bird, In her cage
Sitting all alone
Until one day Sat an empty cage
And the bird was gone
Awakened Eyes
We met with smiles as all people should
You were sweet tender and good
After a while things began to change
It happened so slowly it didn’t seem strange
I didn’t see the changes in me
Yet everyone else did but I couldn’t see
What it was they were talking about
I thought they were jealous so I shut them out
Then one day you met me with a slap
You said never again as you pulled me to your lap
I heard that lie again and again
This vicious cycle would not end
Broken bones and blackened eyes
Hurtful words and lies upon lies
You always said it was me
Yet I tried so hard and you ignored my pleads
You never cared that broke my heart
And my love for you had fallen apart
I was scared to leave and feared for my life
But you used that against me like using a knife
You never let me forget that you were in control
Then you turn around I was the one you would console
Then a moment after you were mad again
I couldn’t believe I got caught up in this trend
I always thought of myself as strong and wise
And I used to think of you as such prize
No when I look in the mirror I don’t like what I see
A bruised weak victim looking back at me
I’m going to change that image today
I’m going to come back stronger and say
I survived your torture and I did alone
I mended my heart like I mended my bones
I will walk out that door with a solid plan
Of leaving for good and making a stand
Against your violence and hurt towards me
But also against your lies and cruelty
Then I will realize it was you who convinced me to stay
Yet so subtle in your own twisted way
Not through love devotion or trust
It was your threats control and lust
You made me feel bad about who I am
And made me forget things I did that I can
You made me feel lonely though surrounded by few
All because you wanted me focused on you
Never again cause I’m taking that stand
It won’t be easy but I know I can
So say as you wish and say as you please
But after tomorrow you won’t lay a hand on me.
The Only Child
By: Ashley McDaniel
Sleeping sounds have stopped
The boards creak, alarm
its coming
Not another night.
I but pretend to sleep
If I pull the blankets up maybe it won’t see.
The Goliath comes for me.
No where to run
No time to escape
I clench my teeth.
Why can’t there be someone else
This demon haunts my sleep
No relief comes with the dawn
Just the dirt.
I shave off my skin
A new day of filth
We all wear our masks
The perfect family
The loving mother,
blind to all.
The Goliath is her undoing as well.
Come, the setting of the sun
My nails dig deep
Into my palms
Feel the blood pool
The end is the only light
Flood me into the velvet death
Peace to the only child.
Ashley,
Thank you for your poem, it is very touching, I posted it here The Only Child
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
For The Love of Money….
When money wasn’t around, you treated me as if I had a Queen’s crown. You showed me you cared, loved and appreciated every moment we shared without a frown. All of a sudden you created great plans, fake disabilities, and many lies to acquire funds you never had. Because of your love for money, within moments, I saw you turn from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hide, which was all a fad. You created excuses on why you should mistreat and beat me, because you thought I should have the love for money, like you, to defeat and cheat me.
Janette P
How can I post here?
Hi Janette,
I just posted one of your poems, just add it under poetry submissions and I will tag it and post it for you. Trying to find an easier way but this works for now.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Dear Janette,
Your poem has been posted as a new post for readers to find. Thank you for sharing it. here is a link For the Love of Money
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Dear Mom & Dad,
If he had hit me would you have believed in my hell?
If he had blacked my eyes would you have still made excuses for him?
Told me he must have thought it was ok?
If he had broken my arm would I still have to hear what a great guy he is?
If he had slit my throat would you still welcome him into your home after I threw him out of mine?
Saying I shouldn’t keep him away from the baby?
Would I have gotten kind words when I told you I was being abused if I had to write it down because my jaw was wired shut?
Our would you still take his side?
Every
Single
Time
I
Tried
To
Turn
To
You?
I wonder.
Dear Pam,
Touching poem, thanks for sharing it, it has been set up as a new post with tags, here is the link Dear Mom and Dad by Pam
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
I’m sick of my life, I’m sick of my hell.
I’m sick of the place in ths world where I dwell.
I’m sick of my sickness & sick of this feeling
living in a world where hate leaves you reeling.
Anything of value you ever had is gone.
To take all goodness & sanity
from someone else is just plain wrong.
You watched it with your mother
you watched it with yourself.
=ou really hope & pray to GOD
to put your dependents on a shelf.
But that you were doomed & destined
for a lifetime of misery is true.
To watch it happen to the ones you love
Is all that’s in store for you.
Dear Kay,
That was sad and touching, thanks for sharing, it has been posted for others to find under this link I’m sick of my life, sick of my hell by Kay
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
When my daddy tried to kill me
I really should have died.
Since I came out of my mother’s womb,
I have cried & cried & cried.
Life without love is not worth living
and this is really true.
The hate filled malignacy of others
is all that’s there for you.
They push & shove & cuss & hate.
Everyone on the planet, it seems
is on your plate.
Your brother’s & your sisters,
they took your daddy’s cue.
Since they are all successfull,
they turned a whole town against you.
They told everyone you were crazy
& swore to GOD it was true.
Stealing, pillaging, and slandering.
The world can’t get it’s fill.
There’s no end to the atrocities
reserved for the mentally ill.
& when they are through with you
& you know your proper station,
tou have to watch in silent horror
as it falls to the next generation.
And after that, another,
just like the one before.
All the hell & hatred in the world, untill the world’s no more.
Dear Kay,
So sorry to take so long, this has been set up as a new post with tags, it can be viewed now at When Daddy Tried to Kill Me by Kay
It was very intense, thank you for sharing it.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
I put my shoes in the cloakroom
I put my coat there too
This really should not be this strange
But then I lived with you
Space for me where I called “home”
Was really hard to find
So I kept these things out in the shed
How could I be so blind
So now I smile a little smile
It happens every day
But why should someone find such joy
In putting shoes away ?
By
Forty Two
Dear Forty Two,
Thanks for posting, this has been added as a new post at I Put My Shoes in the Cloakroom by Forty Two
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
I will tell you a love song…and tell you my secrets…i will tell you i love you and tell you im right beside you.i will tell you all kindfilled lovelessness and treat you like gold for im a kind gentle being…darkness will fall ..you dont do what i ask …i feel imsecure ..and un validated…as you are my closet you live for me…. i matter most because i need love most… i will say things thall crush..take all my love back..abandon you.. for you didnt give me what i wanted i will make you suffer… i expect a apology you know what you did wrong..as for me i see no fault in any i done..i expect that if you disobey ..if you dare speak out..i will say it all lies and you are insane.no one could ever possibley beileve you i am kind man. Youll make a foul out of your self im warning you. you will have no choice but hold one of the darkest burden of a very unreconizable type of abuse.As i will do it all over to you..over and over..your helpless now…
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for sharing, this has been posted on the following link I will tell you a love song and tell you my secrets
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
iv had a terrible few years and today i left for good, this poem i have literally just wrote now after the emotions of reading others poems so i though i would share sorry if its not great reading x
My house is not a home anymore,
It hasnt been for a while,
although i have three beautiful boys
there rarely is a smile
to be honest its been a good few years,
because mummy was in denial,
‘daddy is just silly sometimes;
when the truth is he is vile
you turned my babies against me,
they mimic what you do
they are just little children,
they havnt got a clue
they see a big strong man
they just aim to please
they dont want to upset you
so its mummy that they tease
you call me a bad mum,
tell them that im one too,
you know thats all that can hurt me now,
so that is what you do
today you called me fat again,
when infact i know im slim
told me you would take my children away
that i would never win
I’v had enough of you “restraining” me
well that is what you say
when the truth is your assaulting me
i cant take another day
tell everyone im crazy,
and that youve done nothing wrong,
when the truth is you are killing me,
this has gone on far to long,
you minimize all of your actions
“you pushed me with your foot”
the same thing as all you do
your actions, deep they cut
today mummy had an anxiety attack,
for all her kids to see,
daddys abuse didnt stop,
he said look at mum
“she says this is me”
today i scared my babies
this home isnt right
get the hell out of my house
dont come back here tonight
infact dont come back ever
thats all i have to say
what your doing is abuse
we are building our lives back up, and its starting today
so i sit down with my children
aged 5, 9 and 2
tell them mummys needs a big hug
im sure they need one too
i want my boys to grow up,
knowing wrong from right,
i want them to want to love
never want to fight
so much happened,
and only now i see,
you played a blame game,
when it was you abusing me
by N.black
Dear N. Black,
That was moving, thank you for sharing it with everyone. I wish you and your children the happy life you deserve. It is hell but you can do it.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
I encourage you to visit ww.the-laststraw.com for support in the aftermath of abuse.
STILL I STAND
BEAT ABOUT THE FACE, KNOCKED DOWN, AND CHOKED
But still I stand
ACCUSED, ABUSED, MADE ME CONFUSED
But still I stand
ISOLATED, BUT NOT DECIMATED
But still I stand
MANIPULATED, CASTIGATED, EVEN INVESTIGATED
But still I stand
CAR SMASHED, TIRES SLASHED, SO LOW-CLASS
But still I stand
EVICTED ME, CONSTRICTED ME, HE SICKENED ME
But still I stand
HE CRIED, HE LIED, TO PROTECT HIS HIDE
But still I stand
THE PAIN? I GAINED; HAD TO STAY SANE, ALTHOUGH I WANED
But still I stand
DEPRESSED, PMS’D, I REGRESSED (HAD TO TAKE TIME OUT)
But still I stand
DIDN’T LOSE HOPE, TRIED HARD TO COPE
But still I stand
NOT INITIALLY EQUIPPED FOR THAT MIND-BLOWING TRIP(It took time 2 learn)
But still I stand
NEVER GIVE UP, DON’T EVER SHUT UP, ALWAYS STAND UP!
Still I stand
I SHALL REMAIN STANDING!
Cheryl
(Written 7/20/2002; Published 12/2008)
That was amazing writing Cheryl, thank you for posting it for others.
Girl that was like the best poem I ever read you should continue to write and maybe just maybe you might get somewhere in life
A Pedophile’s Manipulative Strategy
1. Attack those people she holds closely.
Tell her, her family is faulty,
Make her distrust her friends.
NB. When she needs them
She’ll be lonely, in the End.
2. Attack her accomplishments,
Tell her, they are part
Of a spiritual punishment.
NB. She needs to believe that
your knowledge and ritual
Hold loving sentiments.
3. Attack her, physically if she refuse
To believe,
That you’re an angelic being.
Whisper near her, then tell her
She’s hearing things.
NB. Offer nothing, then tell her,
All she needs is the breath of life.
And if she ever raise her anger in strife
Tell her, she has the devil inside
4. Always appear to have her best interest
Raise your arm in public,
In a defensive posture
And none will know,
You’re an imposture!
5. Attack her mind every moment you get
Analyze her, psychologically
That’s how you keep ahead one step
NB. Show no emotions, for a woman
That will always get her upset.
Your goal is to make her look crazy
From the onset!
6. Attack her loyalty,
If she tries to take the baby to the mall
Claim she’s trying to run, taking all.
Tell her she wants the family divided
Not allowing you a chance to raise your kid.
NB. Make sure she’s filled with guilt
Then beg her to confess.
Ask her to give you a “written manifest”
Of all the things you detest, in her.
7. Attack constantly, her choices,
That’s how you take her voice,
And give her voices in her head,
It matter not if she does wrong / right
Its’ that she consulted not,
With what you said.
NB. That’s how you make her scared,
Make her constantly doubt herself.
8. Always appear to have her best interest,
To your mutual friends and family
Make her out to be a manic
And remember, this is where,
You must appear, your sincerest.
9. Attack anything she repeats.
Inform her that her education
Is a misrepresentation of an assimilated culture
Tell her that her professor’s
Are vultures
NB. Inflate your dichotomies with hate,
Tell her she loves’ not her own
10. Attack her sense of feeling;
If she’s on the floor choking,
Tell her she’s breathing,
And she needs more of the
Divine masculine
NB. Show her the best strategies to cope
Ensure she becomes silent in her hurt.
11. Infiltrate her space,
With negative and hate-filled imagery
Give her books and DVD’s
With the most hateful conspiracies
N.B. Then tell her she’s filled
With negative energy
12. Always appear, to have her best interest;
So act as though you mean,
To offer help.
When she wants to do it herself,
Make sure she gains debts
For what you do.
Thus you’ll have her down fall
through and through
13. Attack her, attack on your ruse.
Ensure her you have nothing, and
She everything to lose, then leave
N.B. This guarantee’s
That she will neither complain
Nor Plea to the police
14. Attack her love interests
Ensure they know your
Thoughts and not hers
Read all her communications
And make sure it’s understood,
That she’s crazy, lonely
Even the mother of your baby
N.B. Your ultimate goal is,
To make them stay away.
Neither should her heart or mind
Be given time away, from your game.
15. Ensure that she will ask not
Of you sexually,
Tell her that you must now reflect
On your spirituality
Then tell her, she’s “not sexually clean”,
And lack the spiritual aspect of your queen
NB. Say even,
You must remain clean, for you’re a chosen seed
The word god will send to her any-day
16. Appear to have her best interest in heart.
Ask her to reflect, and for you pray.
Tell her you’re not the same
Man you who appeared 2000 or 2012
Years ago to date!
17. Attack her for not believing, You
or any one is the messiah incarnate
If she question’s your authority
Tell her it was bestowed by HIM monarchy
N.B. Then claim you were welcomed
an stayed in an Ethiopian monastery
Or “even Bob Marley’s family, loves me”
18. Attack her, especially if she questions the way,
You talk, look and play
With her child
Tell her “its her paranoid demon inside”
N.B. Ensure she knows her ways usually hide,
And it’s when she speaks, she reveals her real vile.
Say all this with a smile
To “question a man like Christ, who only knows
How to love his child”.
“ It’s your evil mind running wild again”
Call her friends, attempt to have an
Intervention.
Tell them your intention is pure.
Babble some shit on “prophetic cosmic law”.
19. Attack her especially if she decides to leave,
Physically overwhelm her, with her child
In her arms.
Exact so much terror
That she’ll never again
upset the order of things.
NB. Make her believe that it’s all her doing
And when she flips the script
Calls you out on your very nature.
“You’re non-apologetic,
Delusional on your god trip,
Not prophetic, but pathetic”
With single words, I broke your logic.
Understood your cause was not,
Of the same God,
Most folks agree with.
NB. Spent too much time
Explaining to me “Christ was God
and God was Satanic”
20. Appear to have her best interest in heart
Wanting more time with the family you start
But then only the child.
And for a while she thought you were genuine
Until the same traits began to rear its head again.
For it’s the child who’d complain
That you profess thoughts
And actions that are demented.
“I expect that you’d soon blame
Her parentage”.
By. Aisha Maati Aberdeen
That was incredible and so true. thanks for sharing it with us.
I scream inside
but no one can hear me
I fought for my life
but no one could see me
I struggled with the accusations
I felt like no one could save me
it did not matter how many times I fled
he found me
it did not matter my words
they always surround me
I scream inside
but no one can hear me
I fought for my life
but no one could save me
I swear the pain will always be here
I always try and cover it
I pull the shades down and hover it
my friends and family ignore it
after so long they want you lose it
they expect you to crumble and cry
I just keep pushing passed with ice
you will never understand
I just keep screaming
they were not there through the feeling
the feeling you feel when your being beaten.
the physical pain is almost healing
you would prefer that over the mental beating.
I scream inside
but no one can hear me
I try to run
but inner thoughts are always with me
I escaped and I am thankful every day of my strength but no one truly understands the emotional pain and baggage you carry after you leave. The feelings you feel and hold on to when your embarrassment keeps you from opening up to anyone including the doctors. I push through every day and hope that something will change and eventually I will be able to deal with the pain.
Hi Devon,
Thank you so much for sharing such deep thoughts. It takes time but one day, it will seem like another life. I work to support those in and out of abuse but abuse is no longer a part of my life, healing from it and moving in is, but no longer the pain that I was in. Day at a time, it is all we can do. Writing helped me so much and will help you too. Share, it always helps other than can’t verbally express.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
The Fight
A little girl sits in the corner of her room
Watching the birds peck the glass
She never asks what the screaming’s about
She never asks what the fighting is for
That same scared child hasn’t changed much
Still living in a world filled with fear
She dreams that one day she’ll get out of there
She waits for the end to be near
Her life is cut short during a fit of rage
Blinded by emotions
The gun went off and when the smoked cleared
It turned out that her parents left no one
Alive
A little girl sits in the corner of her room
Watching the birds peck the glass
She wonders what the screaming’s about
She wonders what the fighting is for
Until a day comes where her pain will be no more
Hi Eva,
That was a hard one to read for sure. If you didn’t write this please provide the author. Out of respect, if you wrote it, amazing. Thanks for sharing it.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
The One I Lost
You stood by my side,
Through hell and back.
You watched over me,
And took care of me.
You helped ease the pain,
That crowded my soul.
You watched my back,
From the enemies.
You have done,
So much for me.
I wish I could have,
Done the same for you.
I know you will,
Always be by my side.
I know you will,
Always watch my back.
I just wish,
That you were here.
I just wish,
You could have stayed.
Whatever happened,
To you.
I hope that now,
You rest in peace.
You will always,
Be in my heart.
I will never forget,
What you have done.
Hi Chris,
So touching. Thank you for sharing that. Words can hurt but the rights ones can heal so much pain.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Whispers
Your deepest voice
Quiets my heart
Swirling around me
Weaves through my being
I hear you whisper my name
In your presence
I honor you with my heart
Words
Body
All the days of my life
Submitted together with you
Committed
My husband
Lover
Secure in you forever
Grateful
Hear me whisper your name
Your body
Warm and hard
Pulls me into you
Pressed against me
I feel you
Sculpted perfectly for the depth of me
Cradling the small of my back in your embrace
Strong gentle hands Tingle
Fingers tracing the outline of my form
Tangled up in dark tresses
Lying in your formidable arms
Do not let me go
Do not let me fall
My lover
I hear you whisper my name
Full lips envelop mine
Kissing the nape of my neck
Seeking intimate essence
Your breath is the air I breathe
Sweetest taste of you lingers on my lips
Mingled
I hear you whisper my name
Blue eyes look through mine
I can hide nothing from you,
Your gaze into the depth of my soul
Laying me out naked from within
Exposing my most sacred parts
For your eyes alone
I am yours
Mark me
I hear you whisper my name
The scent of you
Fills me with anticipation
Tangible perfume of you
Permeates my thoughts
Yearning
Carrying me off to the place in you I want to exist forever
I hear you whisper my name
My fingers trace your rippling form
Warm beneath my trembling hands
The object of my desire
My blushed cheek pressed into the cleft of your broad chest
My heart beats in rhythm with yours
I hear you whisper my name
My body is yours
I belong to you
My lover
And yours mine
Also my heart forever
Love
Your heart also
Opens to me
And I fall in to you
Seeing its dark and sad places
I go there to find you
Pulling you out into me
You are not alone in your dark
Look for me
Here I am
Always
I hear you whisper my name
You spirit dives deep into mine
Covering me with prayers falling from your lips to God
Floating over me
Floating upwards
Cherishing my spirit cupped in your hands
Bringing me back to center
I hear you whisper my name
My man
My warrior hero
My holy protector
My shield
Covering me with your aura
Emanating from spirit praying hands
My kinsman Redeemer
You’re the only one to rescue me
I hear you whisper my name
The sound of your heart’s beat moves through my body
Music strummed across the strings of my heart
I close my eyes
It drifts me off to a secret place inside my soul
Take me there
Composed from your place of love only for me
I am your muse
The bitter sweet
Sad
Joy of its tempo captures my pain and substance
Suspends it in air
Audible
Tangible
It takes flight
I hear you whisper my name
Words spew out like acid across my face
Burning into me
I am overwhelmed.
Where are you?
I dig deep into you with my words
My tears
Searching for the one I love
The one who loves me
Devastated
Hear me whisper your name
I take hold of him
The one who has replaced you
Searching
Desperate
To find you in him
But you are not there
Looking into shallow blue eyes
The ones that beheld me as so beautiful desired
Empty
Hollow
Disdain
The sound of contempt poring from lips that kissed me
The voice that called my name
Pierces my heart
Hands that held me
Arms that kept me safe
Frighten me
Where are you?
I can not hear you whisper my name
Running my hands over the ghost of your form
Ashes sift through my fingers
Crushed
Shattered on the ground
A string of peals broken
Pieces of me scattering across the floor
A bird
Wings broken
Struggling in the dust of you
Silence
Screaming whispers of a name
Resurrect me from the ashes
My grave
The sound of your music transporting
Seducing back to your call
Moving through me
Lulls me into your hypnotic ways
A fog
I hear him
“I have only clipped your wings”
He whispers
Fighting to resist
Digging nails into earth.
I will not lose myself to his graven image of me
He has silenced my voice
I will not give up my soul again
Scattered pieces of me gathered up into a pile
Desperately fitting pieces
Back together
I hear Him whisper my name
Strong hands take my face into His
Eyes looking deep into the soul of me
Gently
He empties my arms of my brokenness
Caring me off to safety inside my heart
I
Inside His
Hear Me whisper your name
My child
My Pearl of Great Price
You belong to Me
Do you not know who I am?
Do you not know who you are to Me?
I see you cast down to the ground
Trampled on
By those that can not hear you
Cries from my heart
Look what have I done
Look at what I have become
I am no more
Stolen
His deep voice whispers my name
You have forgotten who you are
You have forgotten who I am to you
Hear Me
Hear Me whisper your Name
Peg Butcher
One Day
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the rights reasons that people usually stay
A contract of marriage with vows sealed tight
Word for word promises for the rest of our lives
A planned joyous pregnancy with many hopes and dreams
A true burst of happiness for this mother to be
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons that people usually stay
Daddy had to work and mommy had to stay
Alone in California one thousand miles away
Moving back to Michigan was her dream come true
Going back home to everyone she knew
A new house, new car and one month till your due
We bought your crib, matching dresser everything brand new
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons that people usually stay
An ultrasound was done, a baby girl due May
You were born a little early on April 28th
Home from the hospital, bundled very tight
In your warm little blanket, white with blue stripes
Daddy went to sleep and mommy stayed with you
I held you in my arms, in a blanket wrapped with two
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons that people usually stay
Daddy went to work and mommy stayed home
To raise you, to love you, so you wouldn’t be alone
The days became longer as calls became shorter
It started to become just mommy and her daughter
Calls became nothing as lies became frequent
Bars became common along with massive drinking
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons that people usually stay
Fighting became normal from the anger, hurt and pain
From so many nights, that your daddy never came…
Home to his family, where his wife did wait
Crying in their bed, where one body laid
No text, no answer, not a single call
Not knowing where your daddy was
…Was the worst feeling of all
At the bar he did drink, with his friends all night
Instead of coming home to his little girl and wife
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons, that people usually stay
Charges from hotel rooms came the next day
On online bank statements where your daddy did pay
Cheating quickly followed, drinking away his life
Along with soaked pillows cases, from many lonely nights
Controlling quickly came with violence growing fear
Not allowed to see my family without daddy being near
Double standards were normal, with tempers on the rise
Yelling became talking along with broken house supplies
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I stayed for the right reasons that people usually stay
Anger thrown objects, quickly towards me
Wearing long sleeved shirts, to cover the reality
A push, then shove with threats and screams
Loud noises from yelling because you’re hurting me
On that day I saw you, seen what happened to me
With your eyes beat red, swollen from crying
The fear in your heart, I saw it grow so fast
That any loud noise made you cry after that
I knew it my heart it wasn’t very safe
That one day you’d grow up and think that it’s ok
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
I did what I had to do, to let you grow up safe
The next day I left daddy and took you in my arms
Knowing that your life would be safe away from harm
That I’ll go to college and be able to provide
So I can give you everything, you’ll ever need in life
That I will always be there for when you need hug
That I will always be there, always for you because
One Day you will ask me & One Day I will say…
Chloe my dear daughter I promise you’ll be safe
Shame and Conviction
Shame from a group with its own agenda frequently results from deep, dark personal fear.
People may try to infect their brand of shame into others
But we have the power internalize shame or to reject it.
So many folks endured shame and isolation for hundreds of years.
Many of these people were proved right long after their deaths.
Their yeas of suffering don’t diminish the truthfulness of their beings and thoughts.
For some no place or no thing can improve our social lot at the time we are having to go through our lives.
We can find solace in our own beliefs.
Integrity, personal knowledge and the conviction in our souls has to overcome the here and now…
The majority is frequently wrong… very, very wrong.
Time is the only proof of who was correct.
My bets are with the individual.
I appreciate your comments.
Fortunately for me most of my writings are humorous and warm stories from my life. My stories are about all of the healing and the positive I find in people and animals.
You don’t need to post this – it’s a story and not poetry but I thought you might enjoy it.
The Very Sick Little Kitten
When you work with adolescents who have emotional or behavioral problems one of the big issues is helping the student develop empathy for others. Students who display little or no empathy frequently get a charge out of watching or, at times, causing others to have physical and emotional pain. I have been working with one such adolescent for two and a half years. I’ll call him Joe.
Joe’s behaviors roller coaster all over the chart. He has good days and bad days. Along with the struggle of getting him to complete his class assignments or to do his homework there is the constant monitoring of his interactions with the other students. His moods can turn on a dime and seemingly for no reason at all. But he has shown some improvement over the years. Some improvement for Joe is a lot to say and considering how big and tall Joe is now at the age of thirteen… improvement is positive.
As a sixth grader Joe would not pass up a chance to tell me all about, and in great detail, any dead cat he saw in the street. He would get even more excited when he described how his dog or some other dog in his neighborhood would chase down and kill a cat. When I did not react in horror to his stories he seemed disappointed. His graphic, verbal descriptions of cruelty don’t happen very often anymore and this, I feel, is positive.
For the past two weeks Joe cornered me daily to tell me all about a kitten he saw coming to and from school. As always, I reminded Joe and the other students not to bring any stray cats they find in their neighborhoods to school. The number of sick and starving cats that end up at school on their own keep me busy enough. But Joe persisted in tell me about this kitten. Joe would say, “He’s real sick and hungry and cold and, and… he’s so sick.”
Thursday after school I was in with the nurse discussing another student when I was told I had a phone call. It was Joe calling me from his house. Joe had picked this kitten up and taken it home. Joe’s mother was having a fit but Joe refused to release the cat back into the neighborhood. I told Joe I would meet him at the 7-11 by his house.
I drove over to corner store and parked my car. Joe’s neighborhood is not an area where you want to be standing around for long by yourself even if you live there. Soon I could see Joe and two of his friends walking towards me. The sight was quite an oxymoron. Three large boys, who looked like this was, in fact, their home turf, carrying a small gray cat.
Joe put the kitten in my hands. It looked to be about five months old but didn’t look sick. It did look thin and dirty. I asked Joe what made him think this cat was so sick. Joe suddenly had an expression of horror and anger on his face. The other two boys looked quite taken back by my question, too.
Joe said, “It’s hurt!” and pointed to the cat.
I held the cat up and started to look more closely for signs of some great trauma. As I began the inspection I asked, “Where is he hurt? Show me.”
Joe said in a tone of frustration, “Look, he doesn’t have a tail!”
I paused without looking up at Joe and the other boys to gather my thoughts before I spoke. I looked up at the faces of these three young men. The faces I saw where definitely displaying empathy for a small helpless animal.
I simply said, “Well, I guess we have #34 rescued cat.”
The tenseness in the faces of all three boys dissolved and big smiles grew. I told Joe I would see him tomorrow and reminded him to do his homework. He said okay and the boys turned and walked away.
The kitten was a Manx.
Joe’s completed homework was turned in the next morning and this, I feel, is an improvement.
Update: #34 rescued cat was adopted by one of our math teachers. Her new name is Lolita.
If I would have listened to the words that my pops once said I would have never let him inside of my head, let alone inside of my heart.
‘Make no man so much as raise his hand in reflection of his aggression in your direction, your worth so much more’
‘Make no man control and what you and what you want to do to get where you want to be, keep your eyes open and focused, never walking blindly’
‘If he loves you from the heart you’ll never be apart even if you’re not together
But child I tell you this and my words you must hear, don’t live with no man who brings nothing but fear I swear it’ll only destroy you.
I’m sorry pops I walked blindly, eyes totally wide shut. I’m afraid to tell you I fear as I sit here nursing these cuts.
You see I thought he was my soul mate as it started out so right, I got lost in blinded love blurring ma vision and my sight, now I’m crying into the night will it happen again.
Convinced me it was my fault that caused his hand to raise and strike,
‘What are you like’? It happened again and again, became so hard for me to speak as his power and control had ground me down to weak.
I was to blame for his many actions toward me how could it be when eggshell’s I walked on around him,
I looked into our daughter’s eyes and prayed to the lord above please make him stop this anger and be with us in love. In him I saw her little girl and wanted him to be part of our world as a strong family together.
I held on for so long inside knowing it was wrong in living hope his aggression would be gone but in hope I would live forever.
Then when I looked at her and saw him I knew he couldn’t be part of our world as I needed our daughter to grow strong and not accept his wrongs as right.
I can have my daughters’ grow in a world that think its ok to be treated this was I have to be there voice and have positive say in my actions.
Plus and plus don’t equal subtractions, meaning love plus love cant take away love and replace that love with negative actions.
Destroying the mind, leaving hurt and pain and unhealthy implications for my children. I have to do what’s right for we and follow my heart and not the part that says I love him, but the part that says I love my children more with innocent minds and unconditional love that real and pure.
A life we’ll lead that’s new no hurt no pain no shame, because its not based around him and me and the things I am to blame.
In the most highs name, Amen.
I chose to leave and walk out of the door as his pain I refused to let affect us anymore.
In his selfish mind he blamed me for his loss, not realizing that it was at our cost.
Life is something to be treasured not measured by control and power, I should never have been his punch bag, instead the seed to his flower. A flower he should have nurtured with love and allowed to grow from seed to bud into that beautiful flower.
An in that we would have held the power.
He took that power and claimed it over me, blinding him from being able to see that what he tried to mould me into, I already was.
So let go of the fact were no longer together and take heed of the life we created together in our little girl, who’s no longer part of our world, but part of his and mine.
Don’t continue to abuse her with your criminal mind in continuing to abuse me through her. You see what he didn’t realize is that our daughter offered comfort and love a caring hug when my tears I cud no longer hide, she dried my eyes telling me ‘Mummy it will be ok’ when those words I didn’t have the strength to say to her.
I thought I was protecting her by not allowing her to see when in my eyes she already saw.
A confused mind worried and scared not understanding what she feared but knew it was that of fear and I weren’t there to take away that hurt and pain, as I allowed him to do it again and again. If I had of kept her there in that same situation then I was going to lose her, mind body and soul as I then would have been the abuser and not merely a victim of his actions.
I choose to be neither, you see my love plus his love didn’t equate to that of equableness and my love plus his hate was not my fate either.
In seeing the world thru her innocent eyes a newness I had to seek to find before my blindness was his very demise.
So pops I want to thank you for the word u once said that I held so strong and deep in my head, you inspired my flower to grow from seed to bud to beautiful flower.
And now I hold the very essence of my power!
Amen.
Spirit,
Wow, that was something. Amen indeed. Thank you for sharing that. It was moving to say the least.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
PRIDE..
Pride is what u hide behind
When you lose all control
No regard for my feelings
Your destruction attacks ma soul
The way you switch things around
Its not only my eyes that see
But the hurt within my heart
An the minds vivid memory!
WAS IT..
Was it love or was it hate?
Was it choice or was it fate?
Was it him or was it me?
Was I blind but he could see
Was I to blame for the shame
or was his shame the game?
Was he playing when I was real
I hurt at his inablility to feel
Was I wrong.. An was he right?
Then again he was always right
Guess that justified the fights
Than again more attacks
At his inability to control his anger
Then again not lack of control, but full control
As it was only my soul he wanted to take 😦
Like a burning candle
My being is like a scented candle, a flickering light that burns letting off its sweet aroma
Into an atmosphere that yearn, it’s scent
My outer self glows that hides the inner fears, the pains and all the tourment of all unspoken tears
Like that burning candle I felt the heat inside, unlike that burning candle I was unable to shine with pride
You took away so much and for the tears my heart cried it flooded my soul an spirit an my inner flame died, Because of you!
They say that love is blind and without you I hurt, but in that hurt I gained myself with sight that allowed my inner flame to re-alight! … For Me.
So that power and control that once ruled ma soul, making me feel so sad, You no longer have!
I choose to hold my life in MY hands and stand strong and proud
My words you can no longer silence I’ll shout it out aloud “Don’t you see I am Me.. and proud to be”!
Let go of what you feel for me and set your Spirit free
Realise that you no longer have what you once possessed in me!
OPPOSITES
A long, long time ago, as I was learning the meaning of words
I was told the opposite of love was hate; but that just isn’t true.
By far the most difficult lesson I learned was what love’s opposite is.
Some meanings of words should serve to warn not simply to instruct.
The opposite of love cannot be hate because with hate at least you feel.
The opposite of love is indifference I found. You felt so indifferent towards me.
I knew for a long time you did not love me; there was just nothing there.
I hated you for that and could not understand the lack of feeling in your eyes.
As I grew bitter my feelings grew stronger but you simply pulled farther away.
Then I came to realize the indifference you felt towards me.
The opposite of love cannot be hate because with hate at least you feel.
No, it’s sad to say it cannot be hate; the opposite of love is indifference,
And that is a wound that does not heal.
Hello Cleo,
That was really good, nice writing form that you have. I encourage you to post more. I will only leave your name as the full author if you include it in the post with the poem, for your protection and privacy. Thanks again.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Unbelieved
Can’t go to the police
I don’t want to admit…
I’m frighten of my spouse
When in an uncontrollable fit…
The constant screaming and shouting
Being accused of having affairs…
Being woken from sleep to
Death threats, and hatefilled stares…
All my calls are monitored
I hate when the phone rings…
Secret meeting with my lover
To arrange, so it seems…
Never interact with my coworkers
Ignore every opposite sex friend…
Talking to them i’m accused
A sexually invitation I send…
Can’t go living this way
Have to change my life…
But, who will believe a
Husband abused by his wife…
Thanks again Angela. I just posted this on on its own. You can find all of your poetry listed here by searching your name or clicking on the tag cloud. Be well and thanks again.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Hello Rebecca, thank you for your note. I truly do hope this helps someone else out there. Luz
I wrote this poem six months ago when someone pointed out that our first real relationship sets the tone for future relationships…it made me think of my first relationship at the age of 15 which lasted 3 years…and this person sadly lingered for an additional 3 years in my life on and off…I was searching for somewhere to share it and came across this site…I hope it helps someone…
Abuse and lies…no more…I am worth it!
he tells me not to look that way
he tells me not to dress that way
he tells me not to talk that way
he tells me not to act that way
he smacks me
he tells me I better shut up or else
he tells me I am worthless
he tells me my no’s are meaningless
he doesn’t care that I don’t want to or that I am crying
he tells me he loves me
he tells me I am his and I will always be, that he owns me
he tells me no one will ever love me like he does
he tells me I am stupid
he tells me I am a hoe
he tells me he will kill me
he sucks the life out of me
I finally had enough
I could not continue to live this way
I realized these were all lies
I decided this behavior was unacceptable
I finally got out
I was young
I didn’t know any better
I kept it to myself
I was ashamed
I lived in fear
I refuse to be controlled
I refuse be abused
I refuse to end up dead
I deserve to be safe
I deserve respect
I deserve to be loved
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be free to be me
I deserve to be treated well
I am worth it!
Wow, this is a strong lady. Shows young girls that they can get out. Thank you so much for posting Luz, this was very good writing.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
I posted this on my other blog, http://www.the-laststraw.com about Domestic Violence
How do you keep the shame from revisiting when you are vulnerable? The damnable recordings in our brains are just waiting. Can a new life well lived fix that? You ARE worthy.
Hello Mike,
That is a really good question that I help women at http://www.the-laststraw.com about domestic violence, you allow your self to the count of 5 then force yourself to change the record in your head. Sounds stupid and sounds silly, but after time, it works. I had horrible anxiety attacks and would play over and over what had happened. Long after abuse we still play it over and over. Change the record, find something you know will bring you out, a certain son, going for a fun, calling a friend….something that works for you, writing…clean the house, you pick… promise, you can stop the things playing in your head. You have the control.
Hope to hear from you again,
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
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